Celebrating Balance

Should be a thing.

History loves extremes.

That king who conquered an entire continent. That company whose turnover is greater than the GDP of a few nations. That serial entrepreneur who never sleeps and has built four Decacorns and still won’t stop.

This is the stuff of headlines and history. And since all of us care about ‘our legacy’, what history values, we value.

Hence, by default, we too celebrate (and try to emulate) extremes. Especially us entrepreneurs. And extremes, by definition, lack balance.

Steve jobs and his sometimes genius but often random convictions, that scarred many who worked with him, and left him with an extremely dysfunctional relationship with his own daughter. Musk and his unending quest to bring his sci-fi dreams to life, no matter who (and how much) he has to trample to get there (including to his own health). Trump. You get the drift.

Unfortunately, history loves this imbalance too. It adds to the lure and the mystique of these gods that walk amongst us mere mortals. Makes for a great story.

For most of us though, who’re not born geniuses (or mad), I’d argue that the formula for happiness lies in balance. Which, unfortunately again, makes for shit headlines.

Meet this medieval king who annexed just two small countries in his lifetime but used to finish work by 6pm and be with wife and kids. Meet this business-woman who decided to keep her creative agency small so she could do great work and not lose touch with her own art. Meet this entrepreneur whose company grew only 25% last year but hey, he works out five days a week.

Boring.

I can’t speak for medieval kings, but I’ve now met my fair share of founders. Big and small, young and old, wildly successful and not so much. And clearly, most of us are swinging for the extremes. Swinging for the headlines. Swinging for a legacy that’ll be worthy of history. And doing so at a huge cost.

Many have missed their kids growing up. Even more have missed many special occasions like a parent’s 70th birthday or their own 10th anniversary (and justified it as sacrifice). Few do any of the things (write, paint, sing, trek) that used to give them joy. And most have completely ignored their own health.

Why?

Because what good are we, if we don’t generate extreme success. Who even wants ‘balance’ as a legacy?!

I’m realising I do.

As I near 40 and as FOMO about many things (weekend content binges, late night parties, speaking at random events, hanging out with people I don’t really vibe with) fades, I find that only three things really matter to me.

Me. My friends & family. My team & company. Everything else, is extra.

More importantly, I am clear that growing all three, in balance, is the formula for my happiness. Growing exponentially on one, while the other two suffer, is a disaster. Whenever I’ve made such ‘sacrifices’, it has got me accolades from the world, but I’ve felt like shit inside.

I don’t want to feel like shit inside.

So my constant endeavour now is to grow consistently, on all three dimensions, even if at a moderate pace.

If I can find more time for myself. More time to read, more time to write, more time to workout, more time to plan my meals better, more time to think, to walk, to meditate - just a little more than I could last year. That’s a win.

If I can find more time with family. More time with my 7-month old. If I can attend (and be present at) all important family functions. If I can reconnect with old friends. If I can be with my aging parents. If I can do something thoughtful for my wife. A little more than I could last year. Then that’s a win.

If I can grow my team, and hence my company, at a moderate rate. If I can build a workplace where people bring their best selves and do the best work of their lives. And if while doing all this, we can also leave the world a better place than we found it. Then that’s a win.

And if I can do all three together, a little better, every year, in balance, then that’s a HUGE win.

No newspaper articles shall be written about this. No history books shall waste ink on this. No podcast host will even ask me a question about this. But I’ll be happy. And I’ll be at peace.

This, is what I want to optimise for in life.

Ofcourse, I wish we would find a way to celebrate this (who doesn’t want to be celebrated :)). But I’m not holding my breath.

PS: Just like beauty and size, even balance and size are not at loggerheads with each other. The only variable you need to be lenient with is time. Infact, I’d strongly argue, that if you’re happy as you build, then your ability to go on for longer, is much higher. And hence compounding shall work in your favor. But it will kick in further down the road. Only the ones who were truly happy will stick around long enough to enjoy the fruits.

PPS: One of the things I am most proud of at TWT, is the fact that not just the team, but all our spouses are great friends too. We hang out, eat, party - together (an instance of which, you can see in the picture). I can’t overstate the importance of this one small thing, in bringing balance to our lives.